BLW help!

Sigh. HELP! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but all of a sudden, Baby Girl wants nothing to do with eating food by herself (no more BLW) and only wants to eat yogurt and purΓ©es. Is this just a stage? She’s been refusing regular food for the last 3 weeks and will only gobble up purees. Seems like a vicious cycle going on of me giving her purees because she’s not drinking any more milk than normal and then her only wanting the purees. On Saturday at my parents, we gave her some slices of beef and some mustard greens and she ate some but then gagged herself like she did when she started out with BLW 4 months ago. She couldn’t have possibly forgotten how to chew and swallow right? Instead of just giving her just purees I’ve been mixing it with rice and chunks of chicken but she’ll only eat 5 or 6 spoonfuls when I feed it to her… Sigh. Please tell me it’s a stage. And I didn’t just ruin her eating 😞


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When it rains.

Last week my super awesome manager left us for another company. The manager that hired me. The manager that always believed in me. The manager that saw great things in me. The manager that said I had so much potential inside me ready to be unleashed. That manager. The manager that protected his group fiercely from the scary politics of upper management. That manager. The manager that believed work/life balance was important and that family ALWAYS comes before work. That manager. The manager that let us work 3-4 times a week at home. That manager. The manager that didn’t micromanage. The manager that didn’t care when we got our work done as long as it was done. I miss my old manger. 

This week, my coworker was promoted to my manger. This week all hell broke loose. This week a shit storm happened.

This week:

  • I was told that I have to work in the office 4 times a week. Period. (Doesn’t matter that it takes me 1 hour to drive in and over an hour to drive to my MIL’s house. Thanks Bay Area Traffic!! And it takes a few of my coworkers longer (2+ hours) to get into the office).
  • I was told on days I go in the office I have to be there at least 6 hours.
  • I was told I can no longer work at night unless I’m deploying something. 
  • I was told that I have to join the daily conference call every morning now ( wastes 30-40 mins of my time as 90% doesn’t impact my work)

So now I have to drop Baby Girl off at my MIL’s at 8:30am. Join the call at 8:45am, take an hour to drive in, show up at work by 9:30a, work till 3:30p, drive over an hour to pick BG up, being her home around 5:20p. Spend 40 mins with her and feed her dinner. At 6p hubby starts bedtime routine and she’s asleep by 6:30. 

Today I got to spend 40 mins with her after work. FORTY MINUTES. I cried all the way to my MILs house today because this pissed me off so much. 

On top of everything. It’s Peak Season for my husband, who works for a well known delivery company and in management. He’s been working 18 hour days and basically has no time other than sleep and put Baby Girl to sleep. I see him for a total of 30 mins each day. And starting this weekend, he’ll be working Saturdays and most likely sundays too next weekend. I effing hate December. 

I miss my husband and my baby. But I’m glad my baby is sleeping next to me. The only thing that brings me joy on this shitty day. 


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Oh Hai. I’m still alive!

Well. My Baby Girl is now officially a toddler. 😫 One day I was getting updates from BabyCenter about my BABY. And the next I was getting updates on my TODDLER. 

I’m not good at updates so I’ll do bullet points again, and do a basic brain dump πŸ˜‹ I apologize in advance: sorry this is a hot mess!

  • I went back to work full time on May 2nd after nearly 7 months off with my baby!
  • Long story short, my MIL was supposed to watch Baby Girl at my house when I went back to work, but my SIL got deployed along with her boyfriend so she had to ship her two kids for my MIL to watch for an entire year. So now my MIL has to take care of my niece (age 2) and my nephew (age 8) with BG.
  • My 2 year old niece is a terror. She acts out all the time and all day long. She intentionally hurts her brother and has made BG cry a couple times by pushing her or snatching things from her. Not sure how much of it is because of her parents being gone, and how much of it is her personality seeing that she acted like that before her parents left…
  • I can’t believe my baby is a YEAR OLD!
  • BG learned to roll over at 5 months, learned to crawl at 7 months, grew teeth at 8 months, and walked a couple weeks before her 11 month bday. Now at a year old she’s running all over the place!
  • Soooo at 5 weeks, I became an exclusive pumper. I had supply issues in the beginning and my milk came in super late. We had to supplement with formula the first 4 weeks of life… I nursed her for 20 mins on each side, then pumped for 30 mins while hubby bottle fed her. We did that for 4 weeks and I just decided that nursing her was just too much for me so I ended up forgoing our nursing relationship and just pumped exclusively for her. And here I am, one year and 3 weeks later, I’m still pumping for her, with no end in sight… 😭 not that I don’t want to stop, but I feel so effing guilty stopping since my body is producing enough milk for her to drink daily… 😞
  • I’ve had A LOT of trials and tribulations during my pumping journey,  but my body came thru and kept providing for my baby. I wanted to throw in the towel so many times, but I kept at it. And met my goal and then some! 
  • Baby Girl has night terrors. And I have no idea how to stop them or make her feel better 😞 I feel so helpless when she wakes up screaming her face off. Sometimes we have to turn on lights to get her to wake up. Poor babe 😒 anyone with any ideals? My Ped only suggested benedryl… I’m not down with drugging my kid tho… πŸ˜’
  • Hubby started peak season again… he’s working 18 hrs a day. Sleeping for 5 and we get to see him 30ish mins a day. 😞 I’m a single parent to BG right now and it’s HARD. Waking up with her at 6:30a, working from home for a few hrs, getting her ready, drop her off at my MIL’s at 8:30, drive into work (55min commute! 😑), work till 3pm, drive another 55 mins to my MIL, pick BG up, being her home, feed her dinner and get her in bed by 6:30p. Then I have to get ready for the next day, shower, pump and work for a few more hours and try and be in bed by 10:30p πŸ˜‘ I’m so effing tired.
  • Oh and BG dropped her afternoon nap at 11 months old. 😐 so she naps for 1 HR at 11am and sleeps at 6:30p. But for the last few weeks, she’s been waking up anywhere from 45 mins to 1.5 hr after I put her down screaming from a night terror. Then she’s in bed with me for the rest of the night… then I have to battle her from bonking my head. πŸ˜’ Not sure why but she whines and cries every few hours but she’s not awake… I’m not sure how much longer I can do this night routine and still wake up at 6am to pump for an hour and a half… 
  • speaking of pumping. I’m down to 2ppd. Pumping for 1.5 hours each session. And getting 15oz. Is it worth it to keep pumping?! I was ok with it when I was allowed to work from home 3 times a week. I would drop BG off at my MIL and then come home and pump and work. Now I have to wake up at 6a and try and pump for an hour before BG wakes up. But this morning I only pumped for 15 mins before she woke up and I had to entertain her for over an hour while trying to pump πŸ˜‘ now I have to go into the office 4 times a week and I have no idea how I’m going to pump at 6am every day on no sleep πŸ˜”


Filed under IVF, IVF Baby, IVF Miracle, Life, Toddler

Awkwardly Late.

So Bacon Nugget is now lovingly referred to as Baby Girl now and she’s 5 weeks and 4 days old! Yea. Sorry I’m hella late. 😝 oops.

Long story short, I was admitted to Labor and Delivery at 38w6d with preeclampsia and HELLP. After 30 hours of labor and not progressing past 5cm, we welcomed Baby Girl on November 11, 2015 at 2:40am. She weighed 7lbs and was 19 inches.

At her 1 month mark she was Β 8lbs and 15oz, and 20 1/4 inches.

Hubby and I are SO in love with her! I’m so glad that I have until the end of March to bond with her before I have to go back to work.

I’ll have to write my birth story another time, and also my breastfeeding debacle…. Until next time: MERRY CHRISTMAS and have a Happy New Year!


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Well It’s Been a While Hasn’t It?

Man, I’m bad at this blogging game. HAHA. Sorry.

  • I’m 31w1d as of today.
  • Third trimester.
  • In my 8th month of pregnancy.
  • 62 days till Bacon Nugget is fully baked.
  • 33 more days till I get to go on maternity leave!
  • Everything is going well, gestational diabetes is under control.
  • I have to take a 2.5mg of glyburide to keep my fasting numbers under control.
  • I have officially only gained 3lbs as of today.
  • Bacon Nugget is a GIRL!
  • We had our baby shower/gender reveal last month πŸ™‚
  • We announced on FB that baby girl is coming in November.
  • Most of the major baby items have been bought: crib, stroller, car seat. Just need to get the crib mattress.
  • Bacon still doesn’t have a room because my ILs are still living with us and so is our roommate… ugh.
  • We have a growth scan in 2 weeks to see how big Bacon Nugget is πŸ™‚
  • At my 30w6d checkup, my belly was measuring 31  cm, so 31 weeks. Not big at all πŸ™‚
  • Bacon Nugget is SUPER active. She punches/kicks me so HARD that my whole core rumbles. Is that normal?
  • Baby girl is most active around 10-11pm and 5am. Lovely.
  • I need 6 pillows to sleep at night >_<
  • I’m back to peeing every 2 hours a night now >_<
  • Hubby and I went to Disneyland on labor day weekends for our babymoon (at 30weeks)! It was so nice! we did SO MUCH walking it was crazy! I’m surprised I survived it πŸ™‚ I took lots of breaks and drank lots of water. We basically did a walking tour of Disneyland πŸ™‚ It was so nice to just have a weekend away with hubby. It was so relaxing!
  • Currently reading Maria Mongan’s  HypnoBirthing book and planning out my non-medicated birth plan.
  • I’m listening to Childbirth in the Glory and prepping and filling my mind and soul with God’s Word.
  • We meet with our Doula for our first prenatal appointment this Saturday! Can’t wait to get it all the info absorbed!

I think that’s all I can remember for now. Here’s some pictures πŸ™‚




Filed under IVF, Life, Prayer, Pregnancy

Failed 2 out of 3…

I did my 3 hour glucose test this morning because I failed my one hour one a couple weeks ago. And I got my results… Looks like I failed my first 2 hours and passed the last hour by one point… Sigh. Guess I’ll be talking to my OB about this on Monday… 😞


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18 Week Update!

How far along:  18 weeks (June 16, 2015)

Meds: prenatal vitamins, DHA

Baby is the size of: Sweet Potato! ( 5.6 inches, 6.7 oz)

Belly pictures: 


Total weight gain:  -2.6 lbs

Sleep: Sleep has been good. I do wake up every two hours to pee until 1:00am and then I can sleep the rest of the morning until at least 7am if I don’t have to go to work.

Symptoms/Feeling: Nausea is probably 98% gone. There are spurts of nausea that hits me, but it rarely lasts for more than a minute. Fatigue is still there, but not as bad as before. I want to nap all day, but I don’t HAVE TO nap all day. I’ve had little painful cramps here and there, nothing too serious though.

Best moment of this week: Getting to see Bacon fluttering around at our anatomy scan at 18w6d for almost an hour!

Miss anything: It’s still a medium rare steak I miss.

Movement: strong taps from the inside! Bacon is pretty active now and I get to feel him throughout the day πŸ™‚

Food cravings: I still want fries oh, and a mango a go go drink from Jamba Juice.

Anything making you queasy or sick: the thought of taking my prenatal vitamins. Strong smelling foods. My dog’s food.

Gender: Bacon was not being cooperative at all during the anatomy scan! We couldn’t find out if Bacon is a girl or boy. I’m not sure why the u/s tech waited until the end of the scan to try and find out the gender…. ugh.

Labor signs: too early πŸ™‚

Belly button in or out: innie! Belly ring still on.

Maternity clothes: still using the BeBand for my work pants. Still wearing maternity shirts with the bunched sides.

Wedding rings on or off: on!

Happy or moody most of the time: Happy.

Purchases/preparations for baby: still organizing all the baby stuff that has been given to us.

Looking forward to: My Monday appointment with my OB. I want to see what the results of my 24 hour Urine Analysis means. I had a 191 that was over the range of 0-150, so I’m assuming I have more than the normal amount of protein in my urine (edit: anything less than 300 is normal for a pregnant women, it’s when the number is over 300 is when you should be concerned). My blood pressure has been at a steady high 130s over high 80s though, but that’s a norm for me even when I wasn’t pregnant. I also failed my 1 hour glucose test so I have to do the 3 hour one this weekend. Not looking forward to that, but I just want to get it done and over with. Oh and hubby and I decided to decline any further genetic screenings. We were ok with the “1 in 100” chance. It’s not going to change anything for us.

Some fun facts we found out at our anatomy scan:

  • Baby is 10 oz now
  • Baby is measuring at 19w2d on 18w6d
  • My cervix is 3cm long
  • I have a anterior placenta


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